At-Home Workout Miracles

By no means am I obsessed with working out. More or less, LJ has to tie a chain around my neck to get me to do three to four miles a couple times a week. However, I am obsessed in my quest for the miracle at-home workout. Let's put aside the fact that you actually have to DO the at-home workouts to see results. I want them to work simply by adding them to my DVD collection. That part I do quite often.

I've been through this time and time again. Exhibit A: Yoga Booty Ballet.


I thought this was going to be it. The infomercials made it look so fun, and I love to dance. I talked about it so much that someone finally made the $150 investment, buying everything they offer, just to get me to shut-up about it. Well, booty dancing isn't so much fun when you're alone in your living room rather than at Fats (a toast to the good days).

In addition, there were multiple exercises that ask you to imagine yourself as a butterfly and engage in some yoga chants with the gals on TV. I tried to be serious. I tried to be hip and zen. Instead, I just giggled until it was time to shake my moneymaker.

Exhibit B: Love Your Legs.


I knew nothing about this workout other than the fact that I wanted my ass to look like that by summer. Hello, it's June, and I'm now wondering if I can ski wearing a sarong — anything else would be so wrong (hey-o, lame-o). I did this workout twice and soon found Kim Overton to be very annoying. No, it's not an excuse, she really gets on my nerves.

And the last exercise is sitting down and rubbing lotion on you saddlebags. Really? Is that going to work? Perhaps I should invest in one of those exercise band machines that jiggles your thunder thighs away while you enjoy a refeshing Tom Collins and catch up on your soaps.

And finally Exhibit C: Bender Ball.


I ordered the Bender Ball on Sunday night while I was dozing in and out of sleep watching Food Network. It was only $9.99, so it was an investment that will likely equal the results (that being nothing). I will keep you posted. SIDENOTE: And why can you order these on VHS? Can you even buy VCRs anymore?

So the end result is this. No, I'm definitely not addicted to working out, but I'm consistently a sucker for infomercials.