If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

Each Christmas my family gangs together to get my grandparents something really nice. One year it was a dishwasher. Last year, it was a deluxe fryer, in which my grandmother responded, "It's so cute. Isn't that just adorable? (Pause) What is it?"

What is it .... What is it??? Well, of course it's the Cutest Little Fish Fryer the World has Ever Seen! Some of the gifts are appreciated, others are not. Take for instance, the year we got my grandparents a new cordless phone or a toaster oven. Months later, the gifts were still in their original boxes in one of the back bedrooms. Yes, the knobs had fallen off the current toaster, but all you have to do is turn the knob with a flathead screwdriver and it still works. What's the big deal?

Old people resist change. I'm sure your grandparents are the same way. However, having not even reached the 30 mark myself, I'm a little disturbed to see symptoms of this in my life at such a young age. This has recently been brought to my attention or I'd probably never noticed it myself. Three examples:


1. My sweet Motorola Razr. I got my Razr about four years ago. It was on the cusp of going out of style, but I wanted it anyway. In fact, I was willing to upgrade my contract in order to get it. It is now considered a dinosaur in the cell phone industry. I might as well be Zack Morris with my big white phone. Or better yet, perhaps I'll get a phone installed into the console of my Envoy.

I hadn't noticed how outdated my Razr was until my friend Lauren mentioned it one night at dinner. "Oh my gosh, whose Razr is that?" It was mine, what's the problem? Well, since then I've noticed the problem is NO ONE else uses a Razr anymore. The only person I see using a Razr is me. What's worse, I was given a new phone when I started working at SB. Of course I didn't want that piece of crap ... I wanted my cracked-up, gangster-looking Razr. If that wasn't bad enough, it doesn't even work that well. After charging all night, I had a 9 min 47 second conversation with LJ this morning and my battery is dead.

2. My Gold Flip Flops. The pro to this story is that I actually do notice that these $15 Old Navy flops have seen better days. I would post a picture but some may find it nauseating. They are ratty, but I haven't found a replacement pair. Let's see, the sole is coming apart from the top. The gold is pealing off in multiple spots. They're worn down to the sole on some parts. And I often have to grab some scissors and trim stray strings from the thong part. Truthfully, I am a little embarrassed by these. If I wear them out, which I do quite often, I try to hide them under the table to avoid ridicule. I do get made fun of for my horrid flops very often. I'm pretty sure my friends question why I wear them. Surly, I can spring $15 bucks for some new ones. It's become a running joke, but I'm not going to settle for some shoes I don't like just because I can literally feel the gravel underneath my feet. What do you think I am, stupid?

3. My Coach Purse. A Christmas gift several years back, I consider my purse a "timeless" item. It's not going out of style, and in my case, it's not going anywhere. I think I will probably die with this Coach bag hanging from my shoulder. And God willing, I hope to live a long time. With that being said, because an item is timeless doesn't mean you have to carry it until the end of time, which is what I seem to be doing. I see other purses, sure. Sometimes I even like them. But then I think — like most 70-year-olds — "Well, I've got a perfectly good purse right here." I smile and give my old faithful Coach an admiring pat-pat.

I need to get out of this funk — I do realize that. However, if you see me out, talking on my Razr, wearing my gold flip flops and lugging around my Coach bag, please don't judge. Apparently, I enjoy looking like a pauper.