I needed a break from it all, and so I thought a nice diversion would be Chelsea Handler's first book, "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea." I've had the book for a while, but I've been unable to read it in light of the breaking news that she and 50 Cent are dating. He's gross, right?
But, I really like Chelsea and thought she could offer up a few laughs. Let me summarize and tell you everything you need to know about this book in one short sentence -- It's the funniest thing I've ever read.
And considering I won a reading contest in 1st grade for reading 200-plus books in a matter of weeks, you should trust my opinion on this. I've read a lot.
So, every night this week, I've gotten in bed and literally laughed out loud at Chelsea's stories. Here's a great excerpt to wet your appetite:
I turned around and spotted Jason Safirstein. Jason was an adorable fifth grade with an amazing lower body who lived down the street from me. I had never walked to school, had a conversation with, or even so much as made eye contact with Jason before. After lifting up one of my earmuffs to make sure I had heard him correctly, I nervously attempted to release my wedgie while waiting for him to catch up. (A futile effort, as it turned out, when wearing two mittens the size of car batteries.)
"I heard you were going to be in a movie with Goldie Hawn," he said to me, out of breath.
Shit. I had worried something like this was going to happen. The day before, I had forgotten my language arts homework, and when the teacher singled me out in front of the entire class to find out where it was, I told her that I had been in three straight nights of meeting with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, negotiating my contract to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin.Ty's been out of town for nearly a full week (he gets back from North Dakota today!), but in the meantime, Chelsea has been great company.