Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My (Not So) Lovely Lady Lump

Early last summer, I went to the doctor for a lump I'd found on my abdomen. I tend to immediately consider the worst possible scenario in these situations. In this case: I'm the happiest I've ever been, I'm months away from getting married and I have a lump growing inside me that's going to kill me before I make it down the aisle.

Not actually the truth, but definitely what I thought when I found the lump.

I went to one doctor who ordered me to have a CT scan and then couldn't diagnose me ... or call me back. I figured he just didn't want to give me the bad news. Realistically, he didn't have any answers, but that doesn't really cut him any slack with me. This is a doctor's visit, not a movie date ... you have to call me back!

So I met with another doctor. And, after looking at my scans, he felt confident that it is a soft tissue tumor.

I can't think the word tumor without seeing this scene play out in my head:

"It's not a too-mah!"

Oh, how I miss the old Ahhnold.

Since my first meeting with the second doctor, we've been monitoring the too-mah. It hurts from time to time, and I can't really tell if it's growing, but I can't stand knowing it's still there. Possibly growing. Possibly (although unlikely) something bad. Possibly going to worry me to death.

So, next Thursday, it's coming out. I've never had surgery other than my tonsils being taken out, and I've never been cut on before. I'm less than thrilled, but foreign objects growing in your abdomen probably shouldn't hang out in there for too long. And I'll be able to have some peace of mind once this is done.

I mention this to ask something on your part. Between now and then, if you happen to think about it, say a prayer for me and Dr. Wright. It's an outpatient procedure, but there's still anesthesia involved. And if we're going to be perfectly honest about it, I'm a chicken when it comes to these things.

I'm no Ahhnold. Although, we don't really know what he would have done if it actually was a tumor.


Ashley Netherton said...

So glad you're getting out! Remember back when i tried to convince you it was a hairball/teeth twin thing growing inside you you like on Greys ?
PS- I wonder what Arnold will do now, since he's no longer the Governator of Cali ?

Stephanie Jordan said...

We're going to put Ty's "in sickness and in health" vows to the test.

I hope it doesn't have teeth. I also hope I never see it to know if it has teeth or not.

Ahhnold is now doing those California commericals. I think it's his gateway back into a movie career. The only think I've ever taken seriously about that man is his wife.

Ashley Netherton said...

I'm betting that Ty will do a great job! Can you ask the dr if I can see it ? Especially if it has hair, teeth or nails ?? please!
Oh yes! I love Maria!

sga said...

I'm no doctor, but I have a theory: Legendary Giant Oreos. When did you start eating those? Just sayin'.

dersmit said...

I don't watch Greys, but the twin thing - that's funny! And yet, gross. Stephanie, I know you'll come through with shining colors. And if you have any trouble with Ty, well you know a whole bunch of us that will give him hell. We'll be thinking of you and will keep you in our prayers.

Stephanie Jordan said...

Thanks, Derrick! I'll give Ty the heads up that he's in trouble if he's not a good nurse! Thanks for the prayers!