A Nice Place to Perch

Ty and I returned from a nice, quick dinner out (I'm still in party recovery mode and haven't wanted to cook) to something unexpected. Pardon the picture quality, but I was trying to take a photo for you all during a moment of complete confusion and panic.

We came home, opened the front door and accidentally released a bird into our house. Tall ceilings are nice until there's a bird perched on your rafter and you can't reach him with a broom. Ty and I decided we would tag team the bird: Ty with the broom, me with the Swiffer.

I thought the Swiffer would work as a nice perch. The bird would land on my Swiffer, we would sing a happy song like in "Enchanted," and I would send him back outside to his nest having developed a new friendship and deeper understanding of one another.

That didn't work out so well considering each time the bird came near to me, I dropped the Swiffer and ran to the bedroom.

What? All I could think about was the bird flu!

Really, I was looking out for you. A bird flu outbreak in Shreveport would ruin most of our summer vacation plans. You're welcome.

Ty got in one good swat. Feathers went flying. I felt the bird flu epidemic was now, most certainly, going to become a reality. The chase looked something like the picture below. Lots of chasing, little catching.

Finally, Ty realized I was going to be no help at all and called Justin downstairs to lend a hand. The two guys swatted, trying to wrangle the bird out the front door, until finally the bird tired, landed on the bookshelf and Justin grabbed it with his bare hands (bird flu, for sure!).

The bird was probably in a panic, but not really harmed. We discovered the bird had built a nest in the wreath on our front door. We also discovered that our dogs are have little interest in birds and were of absolutely no help.

Now, for the important part, does anyone know how to safely remove a bird's nest without getting your eyeballs pecked out?