I have been summoned to appear for jury duty Monday. I think I'm supposed to consider this an honor, or at the very least, feel a sense of pride for pulling my weight for the Red, White and Blue. However, I feel neither of these things.
Instead, I feel three emotions. The first, being inconvenienced. The middle of the months is about the time things get thick at the magazine. There's a lot of deadlines, proofs and other things that need to be done by the end of next week. I don't know how long I will be gone, and I've still got a few thing to tie up with the July cover story. This makes me panic.
Second, I feel uncertain. I don't enjoy walking into situations where I don't know what to expect. If you have ever accompanied me into unfamiliar territory, you know how this goes. I ask a lot of questions. Even if you are just as unfamiliar as me, I will ask you a million questions until I feel a sense of relief. I've been asking questions since my summoning. I hear it's boring. I hear I should bring a book. I hear I'm eventually going to be put on the spot to answer questions in front of a room filled with strangers. While I feel a great deal of comfort writing to the masses, I don't feel comfortable speaking or even replying. THEN ... I start thinking about this case and wondering if I'm going to have to sentence someone to death (worse case scenario, of course) and then I think, "I can't do that" and how my life will be ruined as a result. And what am I supposed to wear for a day like that? Again, I panic.
My final feeling, is one of worry different than the previously mentioned feelings. See, I'm worried that I'm going to forget to go to jury duty. It's similar to those nights when you get in bed knowing you have something really important in the morning, and you check your alarm about 10 times before you go to sleep — that is if you sleep at all. So, not only have I written the date in my planner, I've also written myself this note and stuck it to my computer screen.
There's something really scary about the phrase, "contempt of court." So, there may be no blog come Monday. We'll play Tuesday by ear. Hopefully, I won't be picked, and I'll see you soon.
3 weeks ago