Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Two Problems I've Been Having

Let me just start this post by saying, "I've got 99 problems, but sorbet ain't one."

That's a Clint Gulett quote from our evening at the Mabry House. And it's true. While I feel like I have 99 problems, sorbet is not one of them and never will be.

Problem No. 1: I just popped three liquigels and chased it with a grape Jolly Rancher. It's just that kind of day. If that doesn't work, I plan to emotionally medicate with the three bags of candy/chocolate I bought on my lunch break. If that doesn't work, I'm stopping at the liquor store on the way home for a magnum of Cab Sav and a block of cheese.

Problem No. 2: Man, I love a cantaloupe. That's why yesterday, after looking up the calorie count on my favorite fruit and realizing there was only 188 calories in a medium-sized cantaloupe, I proceeded to eat the entire thing. I was unaware of the water weight this would add to my physique. Around 9:30 last night, I looked about 26 weeks pregnant with my cantaloupe baby. I tried to get Ty to take a "pregnancy highlight" photo but he thought I would regret that decision. It would have been darn funny.

Today, my cantaloupe baby is gone. But it has given me a brilliant idea to pass on to the school system. Forget the flour sack baby, all you home ec teachers. Start making kids eat entire cantaloupes and experience that displeasure.

I feel better after getting that out.


Lindsey said...

I showed my brother the comments y'all were making about Jean Eric and he loved it. He is the singer in their little band. He thinks you are a great writer!

Stephanie Jordan said...

We listed to the CD one time at Walt and Nancy's and made it our mission to spread the gospel of Jean Eric! Love them!!

Julia @ Hooked on Houses said...

Oh, my gosh, your "cantaloupe baby" made me laugh out loud! Too funny. I'll think of that every time I see one on a plate from now on...ha. :)

Meryl & Russell McLendon said...

Ha! Cantelope babies... hilarious. And I think would make more of an impact. Guess you need to toodle on over to the next school board meeting, Stephanie. =)

Mandy S said...

um, i just tried to post a comment...not sure if it went.

but it went like this.

again, i laughed out loud at this! ty is a poor sport for not taking that pick!...or maybe he's the voice of reason?!? either way, LOVE the idea for the school system!! so much more fun than a flour sack!

Stephanie Jordan said...

One would think this experience would spoil me on cantaloupe, but no. Last night I really wanted some with my prosciutto and cheese.

Glad you were all amused! I really should have taken that picture!